This is a story that I probably shared to only very few people. Not that I'm ashamed of it, but because it's very special to me as it has brought great impact in my life and has changed me into the 'better' woman that I am today.
Celebrating mother's day and my mom's birthday.
October 2014, I was still hurdling to pass the CPA licensure examination. Little did I know that for the past weeks, my family was already preparing for my mom's operation for the removal of an ovarian cyst scheduled just days after my exam. Luckily, I passed. And on that same morning when the results were out, my mom told me everything. I didn't know the implications or the risks involved and all I could think of that time was ' okay. let's get it over then.'
We went to Cebu (Cebu Doctor's Hospital) for the operation and there were still a number of tests that had to be done days prior. So far, everything looked fine and well for her, and they even said the operation may not take too long to finish (I remember it was 4 hours, the most). She was 62 years old at that time but she was cleared to proceed with the operation. We sent off my mother to the operating room early in the morning hoping to hear from the doctor at around 11 am. We waited in our room until noon, but still no calls. 1pm. 2pm. Still, there was nothing and we started to feel nervous. What is going on? Then a few moments later we got a call from our tita saying my mom is in critical condition. I was frozen. "NO. This isn't happening.".
We went downstairs in a rush and talked with her doctor. She said that when they opened her up, it turned out to be what looks like ovarian cancer in its later stage (stage 4). They'll have to do a biopsy to be sure. But what's certain is she's fighting for her life in there and they're calling in more doctors too (6 doctors attended to her to be exact) to conduct certain procedures (TAHBSO- Total abdominal hysterectomy bilateral salpingo oophorectomy, redirect her colon, etc.) I did not know what to do or how to feel. Half of the time I was still trying to understand the scope of the matter in medical terms, and the other half I was thinking of 'Am I really about to lose my mom today?'.
I had to call my dad about what just happened (in the calmest voice that I had). My sisters were also making calls, one of them informing our relatives and the other one looking for blood donors and blood banks to provide for 8 bags of blood (and also to prepare a few more).
I even posted about it. We were still lacking 4 bags at this time.
I really felt like all the happiness from passing the board exam just went unnoticed. It was immediately replaced with so much anxiousness and worry. I didn't have time to rest or think. I felt angry and confused that time. Why now, when this is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life. Talk about major plot twist. I was pleading for my mom's life. "Lord, take anything but my mom."
After a grueling day of waiting, my mom finally made it to the recovery room by 11pm, I think? When she woke up, she also thought that only 4 hours just passed. We didn't want to startle her so we just went with it. My mom was then sent to the ICU to recover from her operation.
I thought we had already gone through the worst possible scenario. But wait... there was more! By Oct 28, my mom was still in the ICU and since the waiting room was crowded we decided to stay in a hotel nearby. That day, we went home early around 7:30pm. While at the hotel, my dad noticed the sound of firetrucks passing by and he even said the fire must be quite near. Little did we know, that Cebu Doctor's Hospital was the one on fire. (Fire hits Cebu Doctors Hospital; Patients evacuated)
Thank God for sending angels, because within just a few minutes an intern at the hospital (a family friend and now a doctor) called my sister and said "your mom is in the parking lot." We were totally confused! Then she went ahead and said that the hospital is on fire and she was able to bring my mom out from the fire and is evacuated at the parking lot. I have no idea how we did it but we ran at least two blocks to get to the hospital. All I could see was a black fog, and I could hardly breathe because the smoke was suffocating. And there we found our mom, lying on a cardboard box laid out on the parking lot, resting her head on two stacks of Coca Cola case containers and trying her best to breathe normally. The whole place was like a scene out of a television drama! Fast forward, we were sent to Chong Hua Hospital. I could still remember sitting down on that admission office, just talking to God, asking Him what more did He want from me. My mom just almost lost her life, our medical bills are soaring and then next, the hospital goes on fire? I was soooo ready to take on anything that could make the day worse than it already was. I was dead tired and emotionally drained. To make the night longer, we were moved to Cebu North General Hospital to accommodate all my mom's doctors. And there we stayed for almost a week in an ICU set-up room.
Thank God for sending angels, because within just a few minutes an intern at the hospital (a family friend and now a doctor) called my sister and said "your mom is in the parking lot." We were totally confused! Then she went ahead and said that the hospital is on fire and she was able to bring my mom out from the fire and is evacuated at the parking lot. I have no idea how we did it but we ran at least two blocks to get to the hospital. All I could see was a black fog, and I could hardly breathe because the smoke was suffocating. And there we found our mom, lying on a cardboard box laid out on the parking lot, resting her head on two stacks of Coca Cola case containers and trying her best to breathe normally. The whole place was like a scene out of a television drama! Fast forward, we were sent to Chong Hua Hospital. I could still remember sitting down on that admission office, just talking to God, asking Him what more did He want from me. My mom just almost lost her life, our medical bills are soaring and then next, the hospital goes on fire? I was soooo ready to take on anything that could make the day worse than it already was. I was dead tired and emotionally drained. To make the night longer, we were moved to Cebu North General Hospital to accommodate all my mom's doctors. And there we stayed for almost a week in an ICU set-up room.
All this happened while my twin and I were still both jobless. My elder sister and my dad weren't earning much that time to cover all the expenses. My mom's savings were not enough either. I mean, we didn't prepare for stage 4 cancer. The hospital bill was huge, and add to that all other costs after the operation-- medicines, tests, check-ups and chemo therapy sessions. I have never felt so stripped off in my entire life. We were blessed to have titas and titos who offered to shoulder some expenses for us and also lended us money. My parents were also lucky to have friends and colleagues who did not hesitate to send in help when we needed it most.
Remembering how my mom went through all her chemo therapy sessions (and its side effects) just make me feel so lucky and blessed to even be holding her right now. No doubt, this is a second life for her. There was really a time when I never thought she'd make it this far.
Our first Christmas after my mom's operation.
My mom's birthday celebration while she was undergoing chemo therapy
just few months after the operation.
My relationship with her has really changed after all that had happened. She showed me how to be fearless and resilient. My new found courage, I somehow owe to her. To all the kids out there, thank your mom. Love them. Be appreciative of what they do. Don't wait for second chances.
Our latest trip together! Haha. She's my travel buddy now!
Not a lot of people "survive" cancer and live for another 4 years or more. But that's not the "miracle" that I was talking about when I wrote this post. What seems to be a miracle for me was how God turned our nothingness into a powerful testimony of faith. We literally had nothing and no one to hold on to at that time but Him alone. I can still remember spending afternoons just listening to sermons and studying the bible.
I wanted to know if God was listening, if God knew what was going on. I was searching for answers, I was looking for help.
And indeed, the verse that says "Seek and you shall find." is definitely true. My mother's health, our finances, the direction of our lives after that season-- in all of those, it was God who remained sovereign. It showed me how the most difficult times of our lives are the best times to savor God's presence and workings in our life. It is in those times that we really "see" who God is. It is the closest encounter. We may know Him through bible verses, and we may even memorize all those verses. But it is in the testing of our faith that we realize the truth and we appreciate the true meaning of all those words. For every season of my life, God has been faithful. He keeps on teaching me, correcting me, guiding me, thus making me glorify His name even more.
Sometimes, there is no "escaping the storm". You have to endure it. The best we can do is "learn to trust that God will hold us up and help us rest in His constant and loving presence." I took my troubles to the Lord and called on to Him daily. The answers weren't always in complete sentences and were sometimes presented to me in the most unconventional ways. But what I'm sure of is that He's listening and He's there.
Look at my mom now. All active and enjoying life!
Photo from my mom's birthday celebration last year!
We enjoy spending our weekends by the beach.
Diet? What diet? Hahaha.
She eats sisig, humba, chicharon, pochero. You name it. 😂
Our Davao trip last year. She was getting a bit cranky. *too much photos*
Highlight of 2016. A memorable trip to Dumaguete.
To anyone who's facing a difficult time in their life right now,
know that I'm praying for you.
"When you can't put your prayers into words, God hears your heart."
Kapit lang! 👍
Love,
Lora
Comments
Post a Comment